Entry #12 A Dahmer Diaries Update
Where have I been? Finishing my novel and maneuvering the trials of publishing in 2024
You’re reading the Dahmer Diaries by Frederick Woodruff. A Substack that documents my astrological close reads on Jeffrey Dahmer and my writing process while composing my new book, I Love You Jeffrey Dahmer.
HI! HELLO! IT’S BEEN A WHILE.
My last post on the fascinating fandom of Dahmer ‘devotees’ was this Substack’s most popular read last fall. It was also my last post of the year.
I attempted to return to the diary throughout the latter part of 2023, but attempting to write new entries diminished the focus required to complete my novel.
As 2023 unwound, I supercharged my push with the book. I’d started the novel, appropriately enough, on Halloween of 2022, and as the holiday came around in 2023, I aimed to finish the manuscript on its anniversary. And I succeeded.
Ghost in the Machine
I vividly recall the Halloween of 2022 when the seed idea for the book took root, and then shortly after, I landed on the concept for the book’s cover.
I’m one of those people (with 40+ years under my belt as a former art director for different TV networks and ad agencies) who doesn’t feel complete with whatever I’m composing until I have a visual concept for the final product.
This tendency relates to my horoscope’s Mars in Pisces—the Zodiac’s closing sign. I tend to commence things (Mars) from what’s usually considered their final (Pisces) articulation.
A Time Out and Depression
After finishing the final draft, I took time off through the holidays, when the world slips into a void until mid-January. I geared up for the onerous process of seeking an agent and publisher. I also used the holiday break to decompress and manage what I call ‘writer’s postpartum depression.’
Pardon the overworked cliche, but it’s true that when you are intensely involved with writing a book, you become intimately entwined with its characters.
Also, severance is the hardest part of any creative project. For obvious reasons—the book (or painting or whatever) is moving beyond the artist’s control and inching its way into the ‘real world.’ With that comes the potential for judgment and possible dismissal from the gatekeepers that comprise the publishing world.
On the flip, it was nice to evict Jeff Dahmer from my head, where he’d been living rent-free throughout 2023.
As I’ve written before in this Substack, I decided to attempt the novel with the idea that art might provide more insight into Dahmer’s nature than all of the psychological (and medical) analysis that ran in tandem with his trial after he was arrested. This continued while he was observed and interviewed in prison.
Dozens of books have been written about Dahmer, but there hasn’t been a fictional attempt to delineate the inner sanctum of his mind closely. That’s where my novel came in.
Into the Fray
Because the agent for my first book had retired some years back, I was one of the millions of orphaned writers trying to maneuver the awful landscape for publishing that’s become the new norm. You probably know all of the statistics and sad projections.
The most disheartening, as pointed out by
in her excellent Publishing Confidential Substack, is that 70% of the books slated for publication in 2024 will come from back catalogs—former bestsellers and classic non-fiction tomes. This whittles the market for new books from new authors down to about 30%.I thought I caught a break in late December of last year when a friend of a friend was able to do an ‘elevator pitch’ for the novel to the owner of a small, fringe press in Los Angeles. But then my MS was hung up for a month and a half until I finally pushed the publisher for an answer. The book was rejected.
But there are always two options to any puzzle in life. Complain and lose heart, or bolster your faith and carry on, which is what I’m doing now.
And so I’m putting the word out there in both of my Substacks, this one and my WOODRUFF, astrological newsletter.
A Query
• Are you a publisher or agent (or know of one) looking for a book that features the most famous serial killer of all time as its central character?
• How about a book that combines the two biggest genres in fiction writing today—romance and true crime?
• A book inspired after watching the second most streamed TV series in broadcast history.
What’s not to love? If so, please drop me a line at my email here.
What’s Next?
Presently, I’m working on a new Dahmer Diary entry that will detail my bizarre relationship with the Tarot while writing the novel. I’ve worked with the cards for decades, and I consulted them regularly—from the book’s conception—to better comprehend the protagonist and his relationship with Dahmer—to the final chapters. But I’d never experienced the eerie sort of synchronicities that occurred throughout the conjuring of the narrative.
This was a recurring event that was so unusual that I finally reached out to my colleague, Tarot scholar
to ask her opinion (and advice) on how to best unravel the meaning behind the continual reappearance of a single card that the deck had, from the start, associated with Dahmer.Look forward to this entry next month.
Until next time!
Aloha Frederick, I'm curious: have you thought of publishing the book yourself? You'll have more creative control over the final product. Yes, traditional publishers have a greater distribution arm, but you've already established a following, why not leverage it yourself?
I'm intrigued which card you kept getting. And I honestly thought you were intending to self publish. I guess I must've assumed this because you've done a lot of the art work yourself.